Diseased
by misdreya2
Summary: CHAPTER 3 AND 4 FIXED! Zim thinks he's sick, everyone else thinks he's pathetic. This is just my interpretation on why he was even picked for Impending Doom 1....Urm is my creation, this was moved from my old account. ::Slash:: ZimXRed, ZimXOC
1. IZ: casablanca style

**Diseased**

**11/20/01**

**Summery: ok, so i pulled the idea that was swimming in  
my head and tried to put it down on paper...this is  
just off the top of my head, first draft thing. PLEASE  
BE BRUTALLY HONEST WITH ME!! please?**

* * *

Urm stood a good two feet taller than Zim, looking  
down at the disgustingly short Irkan with hardened  
crimson eyes. He stated coldly that he had been  
assigned to Herra-7B9 and would be leaving immediately.  
Zim's face scrunched up in a pitiful display of what  
was known as sadness, looking away. Urm remembered  
when Zim's eyes wouldn't leave his, when they would sit  
for hours and hours...just...staring into...

He shook the memory away. That was cycles ago, and  
Urm had lost interest when he found out that Zim was  
not going to get any taller any time soon.  
Irkens grew in size with experience and skill. He had no  
feelings for this small, fragile, child.

Zim turned his back on Urm, head down dejectedly. He  
muttered goodbye.  
The taller Irkan felt pain inside his chest, and  
suddenly wanted to turn Zim around...  
Instead he also turned on his heel and disappeared  
inside the craft. Looking back out the window, he saw  
Zim was no longer there.

The smaller Irkan hurt inside. He knew it was  
considered weak, but he had felt...something for Urm.  
He wasnt sure what it was, but he now knew why the  
feeling was looked down upon; it had the power to hurt  
you, debilitate you, leave you helpless and afraid.

He now knew for sure he would never amount to the  
expectations of the Tallest. Not only was he short and unskilled,  
but he also had this...disease eating inside him.  
Zim wondered if he was to die...

No. He was Irkan. He was an Invader! He had been born  
destined to greatness! Born to bring DOOM to his  
helpless victims! Slowly he tried to override the  
pain inside him, tried to think clearly.  
If he could not succeed in one way, then he must  
succeed in another. How could he persuade the Tallest  
that he, Zim, was worthy of the title Invader?

Wait That's it! This disease inside him, he would give it  
to them!! He would try and copy the rituals that Urm  
preformed; the body movements, the intricate play of  
words...

The short Irkan smiled. He would prove himself  
better. No matter what he had to do, who he had to  
hurt, he would be dubbed an Invader.

* * *


	2. What do the Tallest do for fun? Hmm

"Gorsht," Red said flatly, placing his game marker over his companions.

"That was NOT Gorsht! How was that Gorsht!" Purple waved his claws in the air, abandoning all dignity and stature to his 39th failure in the game of Banter and Boggles. This, of course, was Purple's favorite game and he happened to be very good at manipulating Red into playing it with him. His eyes turned soft and pleading and he made a sound like a mwarble;

"Pleaase Red ... you know no one else will play with me..."

"You know why don't you?"

"Well..."

"BECAUSE WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE IT! WE HAD FORBIDDEN GAMES UNDER OUR OWN LAW!"

"Can't we just... reprieve the law... for now?"

"No Purple, not the mwarble eyes..."

"For me?"

"Do you want me to get the lasers again?"

But each time, the same tactic was used and, each time, it worked wonders.

"Purple, you haven't won ONCE all morning! I'm sorry but I'm NOT going to play YET another game of Banter and Boggles with you! There's no challenge! None at all! Do you hear me? No more!" Red's left eye twitched and claw marks appeared in the table they had played upon.

The softer colored Tallest simply sat down in his chair and sulked, arms crossed in front of him. "I saw no Gorsht," he muttered.

Red opened his mouth again, hoping something witty enough to shut Purple up would fly out, but the red light above their chamber door blinked.

"Oh Calar!" Red threw up his hands his he gave up any hope for a relaxing, peaceful day. The subservient voice of one of the Tallests' guards came through, "A warrior is here to see you sir. Says his name is..." There was the sound of inquisitive whispering, then, "...Zim. Says his name is Zim."

* * *

Well lovelies, I'll have to leave you at that. Please forgive me for it being so short but I haven't written ANY fanfic, let alone keep up with any of my stories in ages. Well, trudge on, yes?

I'm asking for feedback, not reviews. Knowing whether you liked it or not is WONDERFUL, but id also like to know why or why not you liked it or hated this particular story...


	3. Dude looks like a laday!

**Hmph, you came this far huh? Well, good for you! See if you can spot the subtle cross dressing.**

* * *

Both the Tallests' shoulders drooped as they heard the Irkens name... Zim had been, by far, the shortest Irken ever to weasel his way into the Armada, and to this day the leaders regretted their decision. Incompetent in every way, from laser accuracy to hand to hand combat, the only way Zim had kept himself in the Irken ranks this far was with the good word of a particularly excellent soldier named Urm...

Urm had been Armada material from the start, impressing both the leaders with his...size...

"Ugh...Can't we just get rid of him now...?" Purple whined. "Urm won't be able to do a thing about it now, he's not even here..." Red scowled and thought a moment.

"Sirs?" The guards voice came from outside their door again. "Shall I allow Zim in?"

"Ehh... Yes, yes ... go ahead..." Red winked to his companion as the doors slid open. He attempted to put on his best 'we're cutting profits this fiscal year and just have to make sacrifices' tone as he addressed the little warrior.

"Ah! Zim, please, do sit down oh shortest of short ones. Would you like some garvel milk?" Purple gratefully sat back and watched, while Red handled their soon to be ex-Irken soldier.

Ziim had obviously dressed for the occasion of meeting with the two most powerful Irkens on the planet, Purple mused. He caught site of the royal purple trim on Zim's clothes, the slight silver shine in his polished boots, and the sweet smell of a fresh jelly-substance bath. There were black rims around his eyes, which caught Purples gaze. Weren't those black rims...and that red silky substance on the shorter Irkens lips only found on females...?

Horridly confused, he could only listen to the two converse.

"I came not for garvel milk or cyclie pie my Tallests, although thank you for you most kind and generous offer. No, I have come to make a proposal to you. A proposal I think you might find...ermm...uhh...nice." Zim finished the sentence with a shy grin on his face and his hands tapping together.

"No Zim," Red sighed, throwing his arms up. "For the millionth time, you may not be specially assigned to the Planet of Cushion-y softness. Ruk has already conquered that planet cycles ago; your too late. You couldn't go even if Ruk wasn't already there." The taller Irken scoffed. The diplomacy had been pushed and prodded out of his voice by annoyance, and he stuck his tongue out at Zim.

Purple wondered vaguely if this was the part when Red tells Zim to "take a hike"...

Instead Red stood, gloating over Zim like a 2cd level academy bully, while Zim's eyes twitched.

"My Tallest..." He spoke slowly, trying to retain his control. The small boys whole body shook after a few moments, his black rimmed eyes squeezed shut and his claws gripping the ends of the chair earlier offered to him.

"Aww... what's wrong Zim? Truth to much for ya? In fact I have something to tell you Zim. Purple and I have been...thinking about it for some time now..."

_Yes!_ Purple thought, _Finally! Say it, say it, and get him out of our hair!_

But before Red could finish his speech, Zim leapt up from the chair, latched onto Red's neck, and planted his lips against the others. All in one fluid motion.


	4. Uhhuh, C'mon get down with th'sickness

Red's eyes went wide as the smaller Irken's mouth pressed against his, and his hands went up instinctively to throw Zim off him. 

_This is wrong.. wrong.._ The thought swirled inside Red's head, but he couldn't get his body to respond to his commands. A warm feeling started to rise in Red's chest as Zim cradled the back of his head. Just as a stifling pressure started to rise up in his throat, Purple jumped in and grabbed Zim by the shoulders. Throwing him to the ground, the violet hued Tallest pointed an angry claw at the smaller Irken.

"Okay, that's enough! I mean seriously… What's your problem?" Purple's high pitched, slightly cracked voice brought Red back to reality. He backed away from the both of them silently.

Zim quickly jumped to his feet, undaunted. His lip paint had smeared slightly on his face, and his quick attempt to fix it with the back of his hand only messed it up further.

"But my Tallest! I am merely demonstrating my latest plan for dominating those who would oppose me!"

Purple moved protectively in front of Red, who stood breathing in heavy gasps with his hand of his mouth.

"Oh okay, that make's perfect sense. Uhm, are you crazy?!"

"Wait.." Red finally spoke, putting a gentle hand on his friends shoulder. "It's wasn't that bad." At the shocked look on Purple's face he was quick to amend, "The plan, not the kiss. I mean he did just catch me completely off guard. The shock seemed to immobilize me temporarily. And plus it made me feel all.." Red paused and covered his stomach with one quivering claw. "..squishy inside."

"Red!" Purple gasped, turning to take his friend firmly by the arms. "You can't be serious. This is Zim here. You can't be taking his side.."

"Oh I think he is, Your Tallestness. I think he is." Moving closer, Zim activated a small jet pack built into his back pack and floated up to meet Red's eyes.

"Go on, tell him. Tell him how it felt." Zim wanted Red to say it aloud, because Zim knew very well how a "kiss" felt. Urm had made him feel helpless and angry and melty all at the same time, and judging by the slight purple blush on Red's face, Zim was pretty sure the taller Irken was feeling something of the same thing.

"Well uhh.." the blush deepened as Red stumbled for words.

"Actually I've uhh, changed my mind. Thank you for coming Zim but that will be all." He had completely abandoned his plan to remove Zim from the Armada and just wanted this to end. He held his hands out and started to push Zim to the door.

But he would not be simply ushered out. Still floating near eye level to Red, Zim caught one of his hands and pressed his lips to it.

"Have I ever told you how wonderful you look by the light of all these lasers?"

"What lasers?" Zim took a small remote from the pocket of his dress and press the only button built into it. Several thin red and purple lasers shot up from the floor and fanned out over the room.

"Arg!" A cry came from Purple as one shot right into his left eye. Clutching his face, the Tallest crumpled to the floor.

A small smile crept over Red's face, completely ignoring Purple's injury.

"How did you get the remote for the room's laser activation system? That's so… sweet."

"Just for you, My Tallest." Zim floated closer to Red and placed his hand behind his neck, distracting Red with another kiss while he felt around for the latch that kept the hard shell of armor in place around his upper torso.

The latch clicked and the hard red covering fell to the floor with a clang.

Feeling the cold air rush up on his bare skin, Red gasped and broke contact with Zim. Stumbling back and covering his chest with his thin arms, he glanced over at Purple. It didn't look like the co-Tallest was going to get up any time soon; Purple lay crumpled by the table they had been playing Banter and Boggles on.

Zim kept a coy smile on his face, pleased with himself. He was recreating almost the exact way Urm had treated him on their first night together. Of course, Urm hadn't put on a female's dressings and paintings, but Zim just assumed that's what Red would be attracted to. Being very young at the time, Zim had reacted much the same way Red was acting now; nervous and skittish like a newborn mwarble pup. But Urm had eventually conquered him, just as Zim was going to conquer his Tallest.

As Zim started to move in again, Red fought to make his mouth work.

"Uh, erm, now listen here. You should know I don't like uhm…" Usually commanding and confident, Red felt helpless and confused under Zim's assault. The only other Irken that ever made him feel like that was the currently unconscious ruler on the floor. And he certainly never felt for Zim.. that way. But ever since they became Tallest together Purple hadn't been so interested in him anymore. He just wanted to play board games and eat snacks to cope with the stress of ruling a nation. Purple never considered with Red might need to do to help cope with his stress.

And the way Zim was looking at him and the things Zim was doing to him made him think of the way him and Purple used to be together.

"Well, first of all," getting his bearings a little, Red gestured toward Zim's face. "Why do you have all that paint on your face? It doesn't really do anything for you, you know… Just a second." Red held up a claw for Zim to wait, then floated into the bathroom and grabbed a towel. He damped it with a little jelly substance and floated back into the main room.

He pressed the cloth to Zim's face and wiped off the black rims around his eyes and the red lines around his mouth till he looked like a proper Irken again. He was still dressed in what looked like a frilly purple lace.. thing… but Red found that he sort of.. liked what Zim was wearing.

Zim withstood the tender ministrations silently, planning his next move. The tallest had more covering that the normal Irken; they wore special armor not only to protect their bodies but also to make them stand out and look more important. Before coming over, Zim had researched the different pieces of armor that were involved in a Tallest traditional wardrobe, and became very familiar with how to take them off.

Zim deactivated his jet pack and descended back to the ground. He stood at about Red's waist now. Without saying a word, he reached around and found the three latches that held on the piece that covered Red's lower body.

The warm feeling that had started to blossom in Red got a little hotter, and he found it a little harder to breathe.

_Just tell him to leave, this is ridiculous, just tell him to leave!_

But as Zim grabbed him by the hips and pulled him down, he ceased to be able to think clearly..

* * *

Afterwards, almost as quickly as he had come, Zim got up and started to leave. 

"Wait.. what are you doing?"

_Exactly what I came to do, my Tallest._ Zim thought, smiling inwardly. _To give you the same sorrowful, hurtful disease that Urm gave me. To show you how much power I can have over you, over all my enemies. _

But Zim didn't say a word aloud. He simply got dressed and walked out the door.

* * *

When purple finally came to, Red was nowhere to be seen. 

"Red?"

When no answer came, a panic started to bubble in Purple's ruddly spork.

"RED!" He called again. He searched the bathroom, the reading room, the snack room, and the moose room, but no Red.

Finally he heard Red call out, "In here."

He found Red in the bedroom, laying sprawled on the bed with none of his armor on. His body was thin, but tall and thin were virtues that many Irken's found incredibly attractive, including Purple. His eyes were closed, and suddenly Purple forgot his concern for a moment, wondering why he had been ignoring such a beautiful creature for so long.

"What.. what happened Red?" He moved to take a seat at the side of the bed. "Where's Zim?"

Red smiled slightly. "Oh he left."

"Ah hah!" Purple cried triumphantly. "So you told him off then! He's out of the Armada?"

"Well…no. Actually I was thinking… I think he might do well in our next grand mission. Operation Impending Doom?"

* * *

**  
Well, there you go. Although I doubt anyone who asked for me to continue 5 years ago will still he around to read this. I decided not to go into details about the way Irkens might have sex, and leave that up the imaginations of those who write way better than I do.**

**Please don't review though till you've read the other three chapters. They're short and they're worth it, I promise! Just follow the link at the top of the story please.**

**And then review maybe? How can you resist this face?**


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